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While I am young, I shall wear purple

Staying put would be the easy option.  Consistency is safe; there is certainty in it and there are no surprises.  But, there are no surprises.  I would know what to expect each morning as I awake and I would know that I would be returning to that very same bed that night.  I already know that, for now, I crave uncertainty for the future.  I yearn for adventure and challenge.  I want to experience all that I can.  I don’t doubt that I will make the decision to leave my job and move half-way round the world, but will I make the most of it?

A leap in to the unknown (credit: miare, sxc.hu)

I am, by nature, a planner.  I like to think things through thoroughly; I like to be prepared.  Yet I am, at the same time, jealous of those who achieve spontaneity; who manage to live their lives on a whim and enjoy the adventures which are thrown at them.  I plan because it abates the worries and thoughts of what could go wrong.  I am fearful of making mistakes:  A bad judgement call, the wrong choice, screwing it up.  These fears can keep my adventurous nature subdued as I ponder what failure would look like.  But, at what price?  What stories, potential memories and life-changing experiences could I be missing out on?

This morning, as I was enduring the tube ride to work, I read the following passage in my book:

If…

 

I had to live my life over, I’d try to make more mistakes next time.

I would relax

I would be sillier than I have been on this trip.

I know of very few things I would take seriously.

I would take more chances.

I would take more trips.

I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers and watch more sunsets.

I would eat more ice-creams and eat less beans.

I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I am one of those people who live prophylactically and sanely and sensibly, hour and hour, day after day.

Oh, I have had my moments and, if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them.

In fact, I’d try to have nothing else.

Just moments, one after another.

If I had my life to live over, I would start bare-footed earlier in the spring.  And stay that way later in the fall.

I would play hooky more.

I would ride on more merry-go-rounds.

I’d pick more daisies.

(For Better or Wose, Damien and Siobhain Horner)

 

This embodies my resolution for this year and beyond.  To take a pre-emptive strike on regrets.  To not worry about the little things.  To dive in head first, not worrying about the possibilities of sharks, but wondering at the beautiful new world I will discover.  To see a rain shower and relish the opportunity for dancing.  To consider every day how very lucky I am and to make the most of it.  Why wait until I am old to wear purple?

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4 comments to While I am young, I shall wear purple

  • What a fantastic NY resolution! Mine is to dream big, sorta like yours too!!! And guess what? On NYE I bought a purple dress and have been wearing it like crazy. Love it!
    Andi´s last blog ..Happy New Year!!!My ComLuv Profile

  • Chris Robertson

    Mmm as I was eating my lunch, I was pondering over things I’ve done and the things i’ve not done.

    And I found myself thinking just this “If I had the chance to do it all over again I would go out of my way to get it even more wrong that I did the first time”

    Glad im not the only one that thinks like this.

  • I can relate to jealousy over spontaneity.I read about Wandering Earl and Johnny from onestep4ward arriving in SE Asia with $1500 and just a positive mental attitude and just making it work and I’m just gob smacked. That’s why I set a clock to kick me up the bum or I would’ve planned to leave another year later and go insane in the process.

    Great affirmation :)
    Anthony´s last blog ..Hogmanay New Years Eve in Bonny Edinburgh Part 2 of 5My ComLuv Profile

  • Sarah

    You definitely need a visible and static goal post. If they keep moving it can be so demotivating. Plus… it really works with the theme of your site! Good luck with all of your planning :)